Prince Charming
by puddykat
Summary: Draco a kitchen maid? Harry and Ron in drag? Luna is... read and find out! A Cinderella musical based on the Adam and the Ants video Prince Charming!R


Prince Charming

A/N:I do not own the wonderful world of Harry Potter, the genius JK does, nor do I own the favourite Cinderella or the Adam and the Ants video: 'Prince Charming'!

**Narrator: **Once upon a time there lived a pretty young boy called Draco Malfoy.

**Draco: **_(sweeps the floor then stops and sighs) _Poor rich little me!

**Narrator**: He lived with his evil stepsisters and mean yet beautiful stepmother. They made him do all the work around the house.

_Ron and Harry appear dressed in drag complete with towering 17th century powdered wigs followed by Hermione in a long black dress_

**Ron: (**_in a high pitched voice_Look what Neville gave me! (_Strokes a heart shaped box of chocolates)_

**Harry: **(_high pitched voice)_ Those chocolates are for me! Give me! _makes a grab for the chocolate.)_

_(Both boys start to fight over the chocolate_)

**Hermione:** (_sternly_) stop fighting boys-er I mean girls! We all know those chocolates are for me! Honestly, who would give chocolates to you two? _(snatches the chocolates from Harry and Ron and takes all the good ones)_

**Ron:** But mother!

**Harry:** Mother I had them first!

**Hermione:** (_mouth full of chocolate_) Fine then! You bore me both of you! Draco, I want you to run a hot bath for me right away.

**Draco:** (_hungrily watches **Harry and Ron** choose chocolates_) Yes stepmother, just let me finish sweeping the floor, washing your clothes, cooking the dinner, dusting the dining room, painting your nails, airing the beds, washing the dishes and cleaning out the fireplace.

**Hermione:** (_glares at** Draco**_) I can't wait that long! Run me a bath now! _(Exits the room)_

**Harry:** (_Pinches nose_)What on earth is that smell?

**Ron:** I think it's dinner!

_(**Harry and Ron** dash to the fireplace and open the bubbling vat of stew. They both eat a spoonful then spit it out)_

**Harry:** Bleruch! Horrible! A house elf could cook better than you!

**Ron:** Oh I feel ill! Water! _(snaps fingers)_ NOW!

**(_Draco_**_ drops the broom and fetches a glass of water from the tap before handing it to **Ron)**_

**Ron:** DRACO! This glass is dirty! A House elf could wash this better than you!

**Draco:** I'm sorry, it's just before Papa died Dobby did everything for me!

**Harry:** _(Totters over to **Draco** in his massive heels and slaps him hard._) Honestly! Are you trying to make my sister ill?

**Ron:** Oh! I need to sit down_! (sits down on a chair and then springs up again_) Oh, what on earth is this! _( draws a giant toy eagle owl from under his bum)_ It's hideous!

**Harry:** _(flaps hands around wildly)_ Oh throw it away! Throw it away!

**Draco:** No!

_**(Ron** throws toy into the fire. **Draco** bursts into tears watching his toy turn into ash.)_

**Draco:** No, he was my only friend!

**Ron:** _(laughs in a high pitched voice_) Your only friend? My gosh a house elf has more friends than you!

**Harry:** Your pathetic really you are!

_(Suddenly there is a knock at the door)_

**Blaize:** Excuse me Madams, but there is a messenger at the door.

_(**Harry, Ron and Hermione** rush to the door followed demurely by **Draco. Blaize** the footman opens the door. **Luna Lovegood** enters on roller skates, dressed as a giant pink invitation)_

**Luna**_ (quotes her invitation in a dreamy voice)_ Everyone in the country is invited

To come to the Ball and Dance the Prince Charming!

**Hermione:** the Prince Charming!

**Harry:** Ball?

**Ron:** Dancing?

**Hermione, Ron and Harry:** _(together)_ SHOPPING!

**Draco:** Can I come too?

**Hermione, Ron and Harry:** No of course not!

**Hermione:** You haven't anything to wear!

**Ron:** And you're all the dirty!

**Harry:** A house elf looks better than you! Besides, no-one invited you!

**Luna:** _(in a dreamy voice, spinning round and round the group on her roller skates)_ Everyone in the country is invited, everyone in the country is invited!

**Hermione:** You still can't come! Come on guys-er I mean girls! Lets go shopping!

**Ron and Harry:** OOOH SHOPPING!

_**(Hermione, Ron and Harry **dash out the front door.)_

**Draco:** _(sadly)_ I wish I could come too! They're always so mean to me!

_( "Prince Charming" music mysteriously starts playing in the background_)

**Blaize:** (_sings)_ Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

**Luna: **_(still skating circles, starts singing)_ Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

**Blaize and Luna:** Prince Charming, Prince Charming! Ridicule is nothing to be scared of! Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

_(Guitar interlude)_

**Blaize: **Don't you ever, don't you ever, lower your self, getting on their standard!

**Luna:** Don't you ever, don't you ever, lower your self, getting on their standard!

_(Guitar interlude)_

_(Later)_

_(**Harry, Ron and Hermione are ready to go to the ball)**_

**Hermione: **Draco! Open the door! The guys- and me er I mean girls- are getting ready to leave!

**Harry: **Oh I'm so excited!

**Ron: **Oh I just have to say it! _(clears throat)_ I'm a lady!

**Harry:** Oh yes! We are ladies doing lady things!

**Hermione:** Come lets go! Have fun doing your chores Draco!

(_Harry, Ron and Hermione leave the House)_

**Draco:** Goodbye! Have a nice time—without me!

_( "Prince Charming" music mysteriously starts playing in the background_)

**Blaize:** (_sings)_ Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

**Luna: **_(still skating circles, starts singing)_ Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

Draco and Blaize: (surprised) Luna what are you still doing here!

**_Luna: _**(Shrugs) I don' quite know know! But this song is so great!

_(Guitar interlude)_

**Blaize and Luna:** Prince Charming, Prince Charming! Ridicule is nothing to be scared of! Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

**Blaize: **Don't you ever, don't you ever, lower your self, getting on their standard!

**Luna:** Don't you ever, don't you ever, lower your self, getting on their standard!

_(Guitar interlude)_

(_Suddenly, a giant sunbeam appears in the kitchen. Draco, Luna and Blaize all shield their eyes from its Brilliance.)_

**Blaize**: _(snorts with laughter)_ Oh my gosh, wait till everyone at school hears about this!

**Sunbeam voice:** Five points from Slytherin Mr Zabini!

_(The sunbeam voice belongs to a tall greasy hair hooked nose man dressed in a glittery pink dress complete with high heels, star wand, feather boa and fake wings and standing on a cloud)_

**Draco:** what on earth? Professor Snape?

**Snape:** No Draco! (_Reluctantly)_ I am your fairy godmother_!(Poses and waves his wand in a salute)_

**Luna:** (_starts laughing out loud, laughs so hard she falls over dragging Blaize with her. They roll on the floor laughing)_

**Snape:** (**Raises his eyes to the heavens**) Five points from Ravenclaw too! I hope I'm getting paid for this embarrassment!

**Narrator:** I'm not the one paying everyone. You have to ask the writer about that!

**Snape:** PuddyKat? Am I getting paid for this?

**PuddyKat:** No!

**Snape:** All right that's it I'm out of here! _(Hitches up skirt and Steps gingerly off the cloud)_

**Narrator:** Hey buddy, stick to the contract!

**Snape: **Fine! (_Resumes position)_

**Draco:** (_still awestruck) _You're my fairy godmother? But you're my Potions teacher!

**Snape:** Well I'm also you're fairy godmother! Look! (_Raises wand and points at the fireplace. A gold phoenix flies out of the flames!)_ See I brought your toy back to life!

**Draco:** _(patting the phoenix)_ well before it was an eagle owl but a phoenix is close enough! But what's the use! I want to go to the ball! But Harry Ron and Hermione won't let me go!

**Snape, Luna and Blaize:** _(sing)_ Prince Charming, Prince Charming! Ridicule is nothing to be scared of! Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

**Snape:** _(swings wand along to the music, then points his wand at the broom. It immediately starts to fly)_

**Draco:** Wow!

**Snape:** Well then hop on!

**Draco:** Thanks for the transport but I have no outfit!

**Snape:** _(sourly)_ that's not a problem! (_changes Dracos rags into the prince Charming outfit that Adam wears in the Adam and the Ants video)_

**Draco, Luna and Blaize:** Wow!

**Draco:** Thank you fairy godmother! _(Runs to hug Snape)_

**Snape:** Don't push it!

(**Draco, Luna and Blaize: **_(sing) _Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome! Don't you ever, don't you ever, lower your self, getting on their standard!

Don't you ever, don't you ever, lower your self, getting on their standard!

Prince Charming, Prince Charming! Ridicule is nothing to be scared of! Don't you ever, don't you ever, stop being dandy showing me you're handsome!

(_Draco, Luna and Blaize all hop on the broomstick and wiz to the ball)_

_(Guitar interlude)_

_(At the Ball)_

_(The Great Hall is full of people all dancing. Blaize and Luna dash down the stairs into the crowd. Everyone looks up as Draco appears on the balcony and sneers. )_

**Harry:** Who is that mysterious boy?

**Ron:** Oh I feel so faint! Oh I am fainting! Oh I'm such a Lady!

**Pansy:** (_dashes up the stairs and curtsy)_ welcome to my Party sir! May I have the pleasure of dancing with you?

(_Draco somehow jumps onto the chandelier and swings across to the other side of the Hall. Everyone gasps, forms lines and starts doing the Prince Charming)_

_**Pansy:** _How rude!

**Everyone:** silk or leather or a feather  
respect yourself and all of those around you  
silk or leather or a feather  
respect yourself and all of those around you

Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome

don't you ever, don't you ever  
lower yourself, forgetting all your standards  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
lower yourself, forgetting all your standards

Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of  
Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of...

_Draco:_ Wait a minute, something isn't right! People shouldn't be happy around me! Look at all those mud bloods! It's sickening!

_(Draco picks up chairs and starts throwing them at the mudbloods)_

**Snape's voice:** Draco…. Draco you're being naughty! Draco! Draco! Draco…

**Narrator:** Draco suddenly wakes up in his potions class and finds everyone staring at him!

**Snape:** Rise and shine Sleeping Beauty! Did you not go to bed early enough last night? 10 points from Slytherin!

**Draco:** What?

**Blaize**: What on earth is your problem? You do strange things when you're sleeping! Dancing and Singing in your sleep!

**Draco:** _(holds his head)_ I had such a weird dream! You and Granger,Weasley and Potter, Luna…everyone was in it!

**Harry**: We know! We all heard you calling our names while you were dancing and singing. It was almost like you were in a musical!

**Ron: **Such a weird song!

_(Prince Charming Music mysteriously starts in the background)_

(**Everyone**_ sings and dance the Prince Charming, Snape leading the way)_ Don't you ever, don't you ever  
stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome

Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome

don't you ever, don't you ever  
lower yourself, forgetting all your standards  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
lower yourself, forgetting all your standards

Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome

silk or leather or a feather  
respect yourself and all of those around you  
silk or leather or a feather  
respect yourself and all of those around you

Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
stop being dandy, showing me you're handsome

don't you ever, don't you ever  
lower yourself, forgetting all your standards  
don't you ever, don't you ever  
lower yourself, forgetting all your standards

Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of  
Prince Charming  
Prince Charming  
ridicule is nothing to be scared of...

**The End**

* * *

**HOWDY PEOPLE! Yes I know this is crazy! It is my attempt at a funny fic!I know everyone is out of character and I know I rushed the endbut the ending on the video is rushed too!This is based on the Adam and the Ants video. Please watch it and Compare it to my fan fic! Please read and review! Thanks PuddyKat xxx**


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